


a sadness runs through him

by adoreu



Series: Dear Fundy [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dream Smp, Fundy centric, L’manberg, Neglected Fundy, Pet War, Sad Fundy, Supportive Nihachu, Time Skips, give fundy an arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoreu/pseuds/adoreu
Summary: “Dueling Sapnap won’t revive them back, Fundy.”“I know. Nothing will.” Fundy utters, gaze completely crestfallen.“I know you’re disappointed. But I just.. I don't care anymore. There’s really nothing left of me to hold on to. If I lose the duel, then I lose. I’m used to it.”He had nothing else to lose, but he’s losing himself. Niki can’t let that happen.-A series of events that follow Fundy’s descent into despair, after being repeatedly screwed over by the server.
Series: Dear Fundy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000239
Comments: 16
Kudos: 268





	a sadness runs through him

**Author's Note:**

> btw fundy is a fox-hybrid in this, hes basically human with fox ears :D

Tommy strolled inside L’Manberg, igniting the campfire and replacing burnt torches from the night before. It was mid day, the beaming heat rays cloaking the entire base in the afternoon sun. The respective members all had different duties, so it was practically a field day for Tommy to do whatever he pleases. He enters the Camarvan, sorting out the potion bottles that needed refilling. 

As Tommy cleaned the remaining liquid out of the bottles, he heard the van door creak behind him. He hears a familiar exhale, and catches the vibrant shade of orange in the corner of his eye. 

Tommy glances at Fundy, still occupied with his tasks, “Oh, hey what’s up Fund — _oh_...”

Fundy stood in the van, water clutching onto his uniform as a puddle seeped into the floor. His damp hair stuck onto his forehead, concealing a vexed expression. The van suddenly smelt like the docks. Fundy glares at Tommy, “Don’t. Don’t fucking say anything.”

Tommy inspects him, slightly concerned, “Jesus Fundy, did you fall in a lake or something?”

“If you mean a lake as in my flooded base then yeah. I fell in a lake.”

“Flooded base — the hell you mean?”

“That stupid traitor Eret flooded it. To prank me back after I shrinked that penis of a tower. Fucking bitch.” Fundy snarls, slamming the Camarvan door. 

Tommy cackled deafeningly, a mischievous smile plastered on his face. Fundy knew he was only laughing because it wasn’t him who got pranked. “Oh, that’s fucking amazing.”

Fundy scoffs, forcing himself to not roll his eyes. He’d beg to differ. “He may be a traitor but at least he had the decency to save my Enderman. So there’s that.” 

He proceeds to take off his cap, flinging it on a coat holder. He squirms to get his jacket off him, the sleeves sodden to his arms. 

“Awh, dude, come on. Don’t make a mess in the van.” Tommy sulks.

Fundy sighs, taking his leave. He closes the door behind him, sitting on the steps of the van. His white tunic still melted to his chest, and his pants were sagging him through the dirt. He kicks his boots off, sending them flying on the grass. 

He would be needing a new pair of clothes. He barely remembers where his old clothes were, the last he remembers, he must’ve stuffed them in a nearby chest. Fundy rummages through the chests in front of the van, shoving potion ingredients and building materials to the side. 

A smile gleams on his face, finding the familiar four-striped jacket folded neatly at the bottom of the chest.

He smoothed out his jacket with a single finger, reminiscing his old outfit. It was a lot more simpler, just a jacket, pants, and a hat. Maybe it was time to revert back to the original. 

He slips back on the clothes, adjusting the hat between his fox ears. He sighs in relief — finally, this felt right. 

Fundy would never admit it to his father, but that uniform was awfully restricting. He applauds Wilbur for making a custom uniform, but he sticks out like a sore thumb with the pastel blue. It doesn’t help the fact Wilbur babies him in front of the members, whatever Wilbur does practically rubs onto the rest. 

Although he was born in L’Manberg, he could say life was better before all the disputes and Wilbur’s constant talk of freedom. He’d always monologue about talks of ruling a new nation on the dinner table, or anywhere really. He probably brought up L’Manberg more than he brought up his own son’s name. Wilbur was a broken record, berating the Dream SMP on repeat.

Fundy used to be a strong advocate for L’Manberg’s independence, it was practically ingrained into his head at his birth. It took him a while to gain a mind of his own, that as he got older, the glory and desire of wanting freedom began to dim. 

It got old after a while, and his uniform was just a reminder of all those memories. 

Fundy couldn’t care what his father thinks. All he wanted was a moment of freedom from his father’s jabs, and he couldn’t even have that. He needed to finally have control of something. 

Tommy does a double take at Fundy through the broken Camarvan glass, knocking the windows, seeing the lack of his L’Manberg uniform. “Woah, hey, you’ll be putting on your uniform after, right?”

Fundy didn’t want to say the truth. He gives a meek smile, “Yeah. Of course.”

—

Fundy walked the Dream SMP with a knot in his stomach.

Knowing that every corner, every portal he stepped through, a specific someone could slay him with a sword to the neck, or an arrow to the chest — or any agonizing death. 

It wasn’t like he was clueless to why a certain someone was at his throat. He indirectly killed a pet of a high ranking Dream SMP member. Technically, Niki killed Skechers, but Fundy persuaded her to do so. He was practically half the blame. 

And now he was dealing with the consequences, afraid that karma would stab him in the front. 

Sapnap could burn his house to a crisp, or the more terrifying thought, _him._ He knew the self proclaimed arsonist wouldn’t hesitate. 

There was only one place that could guarantee immunity from these ambushes.

Fundy scurried towards L’Manberg, scanning every corner and every possible spot for an assassination attempt. Once he entered, he felt the blackstone walls promising security, and the campfire scent alleviating his stress. He looked behind, seeing no figures following him.

Like the call of an angel, he hears a familiar accent chatter in the van. He speeds towards the van, flinging the door open.

“Tommy, I need to speak — ”

Fundy instantly cuts himself off, seeing another figure in the room.

Tommy’s occupied eyes catch Fundy, a smile splitting on his face, “Oh, Wilbur, look who it is.”

Wilbur turns his shoulder, “Fundy! My so — ” he expressed delight for a moment, until it was replaced with a look of surprise. Wilbur’s eyes survey his son’s outfit, and Fundy could tell he’s not pleased.

Fundy caught the displeasure flash in his eyes. No one, even Tommy perhaps, could catch that. But Fundy has grown with that expression since his adolescence, he can tell when his father is annoyed.

And right now, Wilbur is _very_ annoyed.

Wilbur’s lips click in hesitation, “Your.. your outfit! It’s um.. it changed!”

Fundy raises his brow, “It’s always been like this, Wilbur...”

“Fundy,” Wilbur ignores him completely, “Where is — where is your L’Manberg uniform?”

His tone suddenly becomes stern, and Fundy felt like a kid getting told off again. 

“Yeah, where is your uniform Fundy? I thought I told you to put it on ages ago.” Tommy adds on, oblivious to Wilbur’s blooming annoyance. 

Fundy inwardly curses to himself, knowing he’d be getting a handful of reprimands. 

“I — Well, Wilbur, it’s just quite a hassle to be in my L’Manberg uniform whenever I visit my base. Cause’, well, you know, it’s very.. flooded. With.. water.” Fundy winced at his choice of words. 

Wilbur nods bitterly, scrutinizing him with a salty glare. Fundy got the message easily. “Nevermind this, what is the purpose of your visit then, Fundy?” 

“I came to talk with Tommy, I didn’t expect you to be in town,” Fundy answers, a sad realization dawning on him, “You never really tell me when you’re in town.”

“My time here in my own nation is oh so limited Fundy, for I have other duties regarding L’Manberg. I need to use my time sparingly.”

“But, you always spend your time with Tommy — ”

“ _Fundy_ ,” he shrunk in obedience at Wilbur’s command, “This doesn’t concern you. I came to talk with Tommy about new strategies, new improvements for L’Manberg.”

Fundy melts into a face of hurt, “But Wilbur, I can do that if — ”

“Anyways, I’m heading off now. It was nice to converse with you again, Tommy.” He gives a tender shake of the shoulder towards Tommy.

“No problem Mr. President!” Tommy beams, saluting happily. 

“And Fundy,” a firm hand clutches into Fundy’s shoulder. He caught a glimpse of Wilbur’s pressing stare. “I do love you, but please do change into a more.. standard uniform of my liking.”

Wilbur’s words echo in Fundy’s mind as his father walks away. The aggressive slam of the door jolts Fundy back to his senses.

Tommy, clueless, continues on, “Anyways, Fundy, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Fundy’s feet stayed fixed on the floor, the feeling of Wilbur’s hands lingering on his shoulder.

Was Fundy lacking something that Tommy possessed? He couldn’t understand. He could do anything Tommy does, did Wilbur have no faith in his own son? 

Fundy has known Wilbur longer than Tommy has been alive, and yet, Wilbur treats his son so differently. He didn’t understand why his father put so much trust into Tommy so quickly. Always complimenting and coddling him, dare he say treating him like his own _son._

Why was he being neglected?

“.. dy.. Fundy?”

Fundy snapped back to reality, met with Tommy’s worried gaze. He looks more annoyed than concerned, possibly because Fundy wasn’t listening to him. 

“Jesus man, you’ve been spacing out a lot recently.”

Fundy tames the resentment in his face, altering to a more relaxed facade. “I’m sorry. Just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Right, well, spit it out then. What’s on your mind?”

And so Fundy did. He told the story of his first day back on the server, met with the tragic fate of Fungi. He then told how he encouraged Niki to kill Skechers, Sapnap’s fox. It hurt immensely, but all for revenge. 

Miraculously, Tommy stayed quiet the entire time. Fundy didn’t mind though, he appreciates his willingness to listen. 

“And.. yeah. I’m — I’m at a loss, Tommy. I have no fucking clue what to do. I’m scared Sapnap is gonna kill me, or my pets, or something else. I’m fucked.”

The blonde studies the fox-man briefly, “You shouldn’t be killing animals, man. You’re tarnishing the L’Manberg reputation.” 

Fundy blinks. “What?

“It’s true, killing animals is a pretty poor decision Fundy. What would your father think?”

Wilbur was the last thing on Fundy’s mind. “You’re kidding me right?” 

Tommy nearly rolls his eyes, “Fundy, our reputation of L’Manberg is not one to joke about. Whatever shenanigans you committed reflects on L’Manberg, we don’t allow that here.”

Fundy scoffs, feeling something menacing unleash in him, “Are you shitting me? This isn’t about L’Manberg, fuck L’Manberg!”

The blue in Tommy’s eyes grew insulted, “ _Excuse_ me?”

Fundy felt the rush of emotions flood through him. All these bottled up sentiments towards Tommy, projecting in one singular emotion — anger.

“I just lost one of my pets, and I killed another, and you’re concerned with L’Manberg’s reputation?”

“When am I not? I put L’Manberg before myself.”

Fundy gapes at him, wondering when a sixteen year old became so ignorant. “You’re right. Your head is stuck up your own ass, caring about a nation that doesn’t even have the decency to care about its own citizens.” He turns his heel, trudging out the van and slamming the door with a mighty clash.

He walked out of L'Manberg. He had no idea where he was headed, but it was far.

And Fundy realized at that second, he lost the respect for two allies that day.

—

Fundy wakes up to a wet pillow case, and the same empty feeling numbing his body. He rolls over, massaging his puffy eyes. He doesn’t even try changing his clothes from last night, he can’t be bothered. He takes a stroll down his tower, welcomed to the sounds of sheep’s bleating and chickens chirping. It wasn’t the most calming noise to wake up to.

He takes a walk towards the docks, taking a shortcut through the fences and towards the very end. He sits himself down, letting his feet dangle on the edge.

After a moment of solitude Fundy takes a glimpse in the water. He wasn’t surprised; he looked like shit — his hair was an orange disheveled mess, his clothes clung onto his sickly figure, and his eye bags were practically protruding out of his face. Fundy tapped his palm into the water, splashing some into his face to jolt him awake, or to wash away the pain. It didn’t really work, leaving spots of water on his shirt. He was still as tired, still as sad. 

It was late in the afternoon, meaning Fundy had overslept. He doesn’t count the hours he slept. The past days were all a blur the second he found out about the tragic exit of Fungi. He recalls Niki’s face, her typical tender smile replaced with sorrow with a hint of revenge. Fundy never knew someone like her had it in her to be angry, but of course, it passed as quickly as it went. 

As for Fundy, sadness never passes. It lingers for a painfully long time. 

So the only way Fundy could project his emotions was with revenge, the only way to gain Sapnap’s attention, was with the death of his pets.

A fox’s blood was on his hands. Sure he wasn’t the one who killed it, but he instigated it. He was there, watching Niki pitifully hit it with a stone pickaxe.

Fundy picks his feet up, folding his knees to his chest. He sighs. 

It wasn’t satisfying at all. Just another meaningless death caught in warfare. The fox was minding its business, and Fundy had to cut its life short. 

But he wasn’t like Sapnap. There was no joy in killing animals. Just pain and suffering on both ends. 

Fundy could only imagine the jubilant grin on Sapnap’s face when he killed Fungi. He was a sadist, torturing vulnerable pets and toying with the hearts of their owner. Fundy wanted to punch that sly smile off the prick's face so badly. 

The regret only dug deeper when Niki found out. It was her pet after all. And despite that, Fundy felt the most miserable. He couldn’t protect his Enderman, an innocent mob, and now Niki’s fishes were caught in the crossfire. 

Even when he tried to make it up to her, by crafting a diamond block with supplies he barely salvaged, it wasn’t enough. Sapnap got to it first, having the audacity to chuck it into the sizzling lava of the Nether.

No matter how hard he tries, Fundy was just a magnet for bad luck.

The blue of the sea became too disorienting for Fundy, deciding he should reunite with an old friend. He trudged towards Niki’s house, walking along the wooden stairs leading towards Fungi’s grave. 

Fundy stops in his tracks, seeing a familiar red cape and golden crown. He feels anger rise in his chest, stomping towards the king. 

Eret grows aware of his presence, “Fundy.. Dude, you look like sh —“

“Shit, I know, don’t gotta rub it in my face.” Fundy groans, sighing irritatingly. “Listen. Eret. I’m not really in the mood to talk so can you just..” Fundy’s eyes linger towards Eret’s hands, holding a diamond pickaxe and diamonds in the other. His attention veered towards Fungi’s grave, a bright blue block in the center. 

He walks closer towards the grave, studying the newly furnished diamond block in the middle of Fungi’s grave. He tries to hide his joy, but he can’t, as an unbridled smile radiates on his face, like the sun shining out of a storm, “Eret, did you do this?”

Eret’s eyes flitted to the grave, then back to Fundy. He looks remorseful. “I heard what Sapnap did to your fox, it’s fucked up. And, I know I’m far from being a morally right person but, even that’s too far, so I just had to — ”

Eret feels the wind blow out of his chest, feeling Fundy wrap himself into a hug. His arms tug tightly around the waist, and his chin rests on his shoulder. 

Fundy wasn’t even sure if Eret liked hugs, but there were no words to describe the euphoria he was feeling. 

“Fundy..” 

He doesn’t say anything, and so does Eret. He then reluctantly places a hand on Fundy’s back, letting him bathe this moment of tranquility. Eret knows he needed it. 

“I just I — I don’t know how to thank you.” Fundy whimpers.

Eret runs his fingers in Fundy’s hair, “You don’t have to thank me. It’s really nothing.”

Fundy doesn’t seem to be letting go, and Eret lets it happen. 

“You really confuse me sometimes, Eret.”

A husky laugh reverberated between them. “Why’s that Fundy?”

“I can’t get over how you’re the same guy who betrayed his friends for fame and glory, and yet you also lend help to the enemy.”

Fundy just couldn’t get it. He was hugging a traitor, and yet, he’s shown more affection than anyone else he’s called a friend. 

Fundy can feel the smile creep on Eret’s face. “I’m not a total shithead, y’know. I have some morals.”

Eret feels a suppressed laugh puff in Fundy’s chest, “It’s hard to find that in a lot of people nowadays.”

And at that moment Eret’s smile turns into a frown. 

He unlatches himself from Fundy, noticing the water in his eyes saturating, and the redness more prominent in his rheumy gaze. He was tearing up from glee. A moment of happiness seemed foreign on his face. He looked miserable up close. 

Fundy studies Eret. He hasn’t talked to the man so casually since the war. He sure as hell was doing better than him — king of the server, living lavishly, not a worry in the world. Fundy should hate him. He betrayed L’Manberg, sworn that karma would come for his traitorous decisions, regret haunting him like his shadow. But it never did, and somehow through all of it, Fundy got the short end of the stick. He was promised the right side of history, living a life full of pleasure. 

He wasn’t promised the negligence of his own father. 

He wasn’t promised the deaths of his pet. 

He wasn’t promised this life. 

Eret was offered a life of glory and riches, at the sake of being selfish. Fundy was so envious of it. 

Maybe being selfish was the solution to it all. 

“Eret.. do you regret what you did to L’Manberg?”

The traitor blinks flusteredly behind his shades. He laughs nervously, tilting his glasses, “In some ways, yeah. But I really don’t regret it.”

Fundy’s brows knit in. Maybe earlier that response would’ve stung, but now he’s just curious. “Why?”

Fundy could see the conflict in Eret’s voided eyes. “I mean.. I like you guys. I really do. You were a good family.” Glad to know Eret doesn’t hate them. “But.. Dream gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. And honestly, I’d like to think I’m doing better alone.”

“Was it worth it?”

The question loiters in the air. Eret surveys him, wondering which answer he’d rather prefer. 

Eret’s lips thinned, giving a loose hug. He pats Fundy’s back, “I’ll see you later, Fundy.”

The King then walks away, his cape gracing the overgrown weeds. 

Fundy admires from afar, his gaze landing back onto the grave. The diamond block glossed with shine, it's the vibrant blue color a striking sight from the bleak green grass. 

“Thank you, Eret.”

—

Fundy felt the rays of the sun peek through the holes of his deteriorating base. The cracks the cobblestone scattered beams of the sunrise across the inside of the edifice, welcoming him to a new day.

He had spent the whole night gathering supplies for the duel. He felt bad to beg and steal from others, so he did it the old fashioned way — for the entirety of last night. 

His hands were coated with soot, loose bandages on his fingers due to sharpening mishaps, and dirt smeared across his clothes from mining and farming. 

Fundy felt the fatigue prick at his eyes, eyelids weighing down, and splotches of black were clogging his vision. He couldn’t stop though, he had to set up the gear and practice afterwards. He would save his energy for later. 

As Fundy laid the sword on the crafting table, he heard a faint noise. He stops, listening into the silence. When nothing responded, he continued grinding the sword.

At that moment, a strident crash erupts in his ears. Fundy jumps, looking towards the sound. He stops sharpening the sword, laying his eyes on the figure in his doorway, “Niki?”

Niki races towards him, fearful. “Fundy, please tell me it’s not true.”

Fundy stares at her, “What? Niki I don’t — ”

“The duel.” Niki bawled, voice thick with trepidation. She walks up towards him, her tone suddenly becoming frail, “Fundy, you have to back out.” 

“Back out?” Fundy parrots offendedly, “I can’t. The deal’s been done, I’m fighting him in two days.”

Her eyes widen, “Fundy, come on, listen to me before you do something you regret.”

Fundy reverts his eyes back to the crafting table, “It’s a little too late for that, Niki.”

“It’s never too late to fix things.”

“I’ll believe that when Sapnap stops being a sadistic freak.” Fundy laughs emptily, “Get it? It’s never going to fucking happen.”

“Oh come on, like you’re anything better! Just the other day I heard you burned Punz’s bees. What did he do to you?

“Um, be a fucking bitch?” Fundy snarls.

Niki pouts disappointedly, “Oh come on you know you don’t mean that.”

“Does anything have to have meaning anymore? Because it looks to me people keep killing my pets with no reason behind it! They’re just killing them for the sake of killing them! If they don’t care, then why should I?” Fundy starts sharpening the sword aggressively, his vexation projecting into it.

Niki grabs Fundy by the shoulder, causing him to halt. His eyes stay glued to the crafting table, but he can feel Niki’s presence suffocating him. “Come on Fundy. This isn’t you, Fungi wouldn’t want this.”

Fundy freezes at Fungi’s name. “Fungi is dead, Niki. It’s not gonna matter when we duel it out anyways.”

Niki sighs dejectedly, “Fundy you know you’re going to lose. You’re dealing with a Dream SMP member. You can’t.”

Fundy stops grinding the sword, feeling his heart strain at Niki’s words. 

_Fundy you know you’re going to lose._

Even Niki, the person he’s shared the most grief with, had no faith in him.

“There’s no going back Niki and you know that. The deal’s been done. I’m fighting Sapnap and there’s no.. no take backs.” Fundy’s shoulders unbuckle, looking downcast at the sword, “If I win he’ll never step a foot in L’Manberg. If I lose I give the pets back. It’s just a fight. It’s not like I bet L’Manberg’s independence or something.”

“Fundy, you’re potentially starting up another war.”

“The war started when he killed Fungi. Niki, I’m getting justice for Fungi. I’m fighting on the behalf of us.”

“No you aren’t, this isn’t justice, this is revenge. You’re getting yourself mixed in some fights you’re not supposed to be picking.”

Hurt flashes in Fundy’s eyes. His lip twitches, as he shields his disappointment, “I guess it’s my own fight then after all.”

Niki glares at him sternly, and Fundy can’t help but feel her piercing eyes shoot right through him. Her face melted into a frown, “This isn’t how you should fix things. You’ll just hurt the people who love you.” 

Fundy smiles, a pitiful laugh lumping in his throat. “Niki.. I’m afraid there’s only so little people that actually do, and even with that, it’s nothing to comparison when it feels like the whole world is _fucking_ against you.” he purses his lips together, holding back the stinging sensation in the back of his eyes, “And let me tell you. It sucks. It fucking sucks. So bad.” his voice cracks near the end, silencing himself before any other sign of sadness leaks. 

He detaches himself from Niki, walking towards his chests. He opens them, but stops, “My pets keep getting killed, my own father uses me for his own agenda, and everyone keeps toying with my emotions like I’m this - like they forget I’m human. Its — I fucking hate it.”

“And your solutions are to battle it out? With a Dream SMP member?” Niki retorts. “Listen, just because I killed Sapnap’s fox doesn’t mean I endorse this. I really do regret it, and I wanted an apology but you want revenge. And I know my anger can’t compare with yours, but.. Seriously, Fundy. This just isn’t it.” 

“That’s easy for you to say. You have everything that I could want. Or want back. You still have so much. I have.. Nothing.” Fundy nods, trying to distract the tears itching his eyes.

“It makes a difference when there’s nothing else to lose. You think it can’t get any worse but it does. You make a grave, and he disrespects it. You try and save it but it doesn’t fucking matter because he blows up the goddamn grave anyways.”

“Dueling Sapnap won’t revive them back, Fundy.”

Fundy would sacrifice anything for those pets to live again. He’d even trade in his own life.

“I know. Nothing will.” Fundy utters, gaze completely crestfallen. Niki has never seen such despair in a pair of eyes. Completely hollow, all the hope sucked out. Although, it wasn’t the first time she’s encountered this. She recognized it when Fundy came back soaking from his base, or when he found out the news of Fungi. He’s been hurting for a while, and now he’s reached his boiling point. Both a terrifying and pitiful thought. 

“I know you’re disappointed. But I just.. I don't care anymore. There’s really nothing left of me to hold on to. If I lose the duel, then I lose. I’m used to it.”

He had nothing else to lose, but he’s losing himself. Niki can’t let that happen. 

“Fundy, please listen — ”

“Niki, please leave.” Fundy orders with a quivering voice. 

“Fundy — ”

“ _Leave._ ” 

Niki replies noiseless, staring into Fundy’s back. She huffs, turning her heel. 

Fundy calms the shaking in his hands, wiping the water glossing his eyes. Hot tears flooded his face, as he weeped into his already soaked hands.

He has lost everyone important to him.

—

Fundy respawns in his bed, the cold blankets welcoming him back to the unfortunate turn in events. He could feel the scar forming at the center of his chest, replacing the wound where an arrow split through him. He could also feel the aching at his joints and the pricks of pain sprinkled around his skin. If he respawned excessively in such a short amount of time the wounds wouldn’t heal as fast, leaving cuts and blood everywhere. The bed even started tinting a shade of red.

He attempts to get up, feeling a spike of pain in his leg. He cusses, setting himself down again. 

Fundy got killed three times in a row. He had lost the duel just like that.

No, that couldn’t be it. He’s been practicing for so long, and that’s how it ends? 

He couldn’t let Sapnap win.

Fundy pushes through the pain, opening the nearby chest carrying all his belongings. He pulls out a familiar object.

“Fundy, what are you doing?” Tubbo questions, looking at the tattered shovel in the fox-man’s hands. 

Fundy eyes the shovel, reminiscing on it’s days on the server. It survived many wars. If he was really about to do this, then this may be the last time he’ll be holding it. 

He stomps up to Sapnap, his wounds stinging across his body, but he fights through the pain anyways. 

“Well, Fundy. You lost.” Sapnap taunts, that satisfied grin making a mockery out of Fundy. 

“No, I have one thing, worth more than anything,” he held up the shovel. “This.”

Sapnap looks at him scornly, scoffing, “That? That’s worth more than the Drip?”

“This has been here since day one. It has huge moral value.”

Sapnap stares at the fox-man with a pair of callous eyes that left a bitter taste in Fundy’s mouth. That suddenly piqued his interest. 

“I want a full rematch.” Fundy demands shakily. He could see the shock written on Tubbo’s face, while Sapnap merely smirked in return. His palms clutched harder onto the shovel. “Double or nothing.”

The smirk grew bigger on Sapnap’s lips, “Fundy you’re going to lose everything — ” he cackles in between, either in disbelief or in pity, “ — everything important to you.”

“No! No I’m not. This is —” Fundy takes a sharp breath.

Niki was right — this wasn’t for justice, it was for revenge. Fundy always knew it deep down, but was blinded by his hunger for vengeance. He was just like Sapnap, a hard copy.

But at the same time, he wasn’t like Sapnap. 

Fundy knew now. He may have lost everything, but that didn’t mean he had to give up. 

“This is not for me. I can lose whatever I want. This is for justice. This is for Fungi. This is for all the animals you’ve tortured on the server. This is for Niki. This is for safety on the server.”

Sapnap scoffs, shrugging cockily, “Alright. Pick up your items, I’ll take everything from you, if that’s what you really want.” 

He walks away, spinning the sword onto the battlefield. 

Tubbo stands in silence, slowly walking up to Fundy. “Fundy, what did you do?”

Fundy glares at the crazed man’s back. Without moving his gaze, he answers resolutefully, “All or nothing, right?”

—

Night time had fallen across the land of the Dream SMP, marking the daytime’s end.

The duel against Sapnap had ended minutes ago.

He had lost. 

The idea of justice was a distant fantasy. He fought for it, and now, he had nothing. No pets. No Drip. No Schlong. 

He had lost everything. 

Fundy hisses, slightly flinching at the pain prickling on his skin. Tubbo grimances, patting gentler with a wet cloth, “I’m sorry, this arrow really scraped you bad here.”

Fundy shakes his head, “No it’s fine, I can take it.”

The two sit in comfortable silence, but Tubbo could see the visible regret eating him inside. “You did good Fundy. I was rooting for you.”

“Thanks. It doesn’t mean anything now that I’ve lost but — I appreciate it.”

Fundy notices they were alone, meaning it would be a perfect time for an apology. “Hey, I’m sorry for yelling at you about my Schlong. That was uh, that was really shitty at me to y’know.. start a civil war over it.”

Tubbo smiles, “It’s fine. Honestly it was my fault as well.”

Fundy gives a skeptical look, “No, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just.. let out all my anger at you. That was really fucking shitty.”

“Not as shitty as taking your Schlong,” Tubbo remarks. “Sorry about that, too.”

“Apology accepted, Tubbo.”

Just then the brash sound of footsteps crash the conversation. The two jump at the thundering noise, Tubbo even let out a pitchy shriek, seeing a familiar face in the doorway of Fundy’s tower.

“Fundy..” Niki pants in the doorway, distraught glazing her eyes.

Fundy could only stare back, bloodied, bruised, and surprised. 

“I think this is my cue to leave.” Tubbo comments, standing up from Fundy’s bed and walking outside awkwardly. 

“Fundy oh my gosh, are you okay? Are you badly hurt?” Niki asks, quickly examining the wounds tattered across his skin. 

“Okay, ow, don’t touch the bandages.” 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry.”

“No it’s fine just —”

“Fundy,” Niki says, “I didn’t think you were actually gonna fight Sapnap.” 

Fundy pauses, looking at the concern in Niki’s eyes, feeling a twinge of guilt. “It was close though. I was gonna win.” 

“Were you really?”

“Yeah, yeah I was,” Fundy chuckles faintly, until it slowly died down, “Until I wasn't.”

Niki leans her head to the side gently, “I’m sorry, Fundy.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry.” Fundy shakes his head, “You were right Niki.” Her brows knit in, uncertain what Fundy was saying, “It was never about justice, all I wanted was revenge. I realized that far too late. And even when I did, what do you know, I still lost.” 

A pitiful smile tugs at Fundy’s lips. “But that’s fine. I’d like to think my pets would be proud of me.”

“I know I am.” Niki smiles. Fundy missed that smile, he had no idea how much he’s been yearning to see her happy again. “You’re a winner in my heart.”

Fundy laughs, “That was so fucking cheesy, holy shit.”

Niki giggles offendedly, “No it wasn’t! It’s totally true!”

Fundy laughs quieter, fiddling with the bandages on his arms. They sat in quietude, basking in each other’s company. After what felt like minutes, Fundy had one thing on his mind. “Thank you for sticking by my side, Niki. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, you’re my friend after all.” Niki beams gently. 

“Not a very good one I’ll tell you that.” Fundy replies sardonically. 

Niki grimaces, “Why do you say that?”

Fundy blinks, thinking it would be very obvious. “Niki — I just ignored you. You asked for an apology and instead I started a war based on my own vengeance. I mean,” he laughs dully, “I was being such a dick, just like Sapnap... I’ll make it up to you, though. I swear, I’ll make Fungi, my Enderman, your pets, and you, proud of me. I’m counting on it.”

Niki grins fondly, “You don’t have to.”

“No, no, I do,” Fundy suddenly stands up from the bed, walking towards a chest and opening it, “And I feel like I should start out with this.” 

Niki hears a slush of liquid, as Fundy pulls out two small buckets from his chest. He hands it to her, a sheepish smile on his face as he presentes Niki’s stolen fishes.

“Fundy!” exclaims Niki, jumping out of her seat, gaping at the two fishes, “How did you — how did — my fishes, how — ”

“That doesn’t matter, but I assure you I got them in a non-scamming way. If there was one thing I won from that duel,” he places them in Niki’s hands, watching the two fishes swim in circles, “It was them.”

She takes the buckets, eyeing them with immense adoration. Niki dips her finger into the water, watching her fishes nibble at her fingertips. Relief twinkles in her eyes, as she runs into an embrace with the fox-man, almost knocking him off his feet. 

“I don’t.. I don’t know how I could repay you.” she says, her voice muffled by Fundy’s jacket. 

Fundy reciprocates the hug, “No need, just take them, they’re yours anyways.” 

Niki held him closely, the warmth of her embrace enveloping Fundy in solace. 

For so long, the weight of the world was suffocating him. The people he used to call allies suddenly turned a cold shoulder, and his pets were dwindling down one by one. It all just compiled into a calamity of despair, the only way to project these emotions was with revenge, and even when Fundy felt like he was losing everything, he forgot one thing along the way — himself. 

He was alone, faced with the path of grief all in solitude. But that wasn’t the case at all, as Niki held him in her arms. 

He was still hurting, but that was okay, it was okay feeling pain now that he doesn’t have to suffer alone. And when he eventually comes out on top, he won’t be alone. He’ll have someone there to revel with. 

He’ll be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> i made this fic because fundy's arc in the dream smp is so underrated !! i mean seriously, he literally lost fungi, his enderman, fungi's grave got blown up, lost his schlong (until tubbo returned it) lost the duel, and even lost all his prized items (until sapnap returned them). i also decided to add an extra layer of wilbur being a bad parent bc, cmon, i mean wilbur babies fundy a lot haha (its very cute tho) but still it's so sad :( im happy he got a happy ending in the smp though!! i hope ppl focus on his arc more, its very interesting to write about, and honestly i hope ppl appreciate fundy more too :)


End file.
